What Causes Onyxia to Deep Breath More?

  • Raid clumping
  • Not enough DPS
  • Not Fake Oakleys enough DOTs
  • The group’s Raid ID
  • The race of the raid leader
  • The race of the main tank
  • The class of the raid leader
  • The class of the main tank
  • The tone of voice of the raid leader, and whether or not he has techno music playing in the background.
  • Not all Cheap Jordans odd groups are on the left and/or not all even groups are on the right.
  • People are not DPSing very, very slowly (and by slowly, I mean f#%@ing slow).
  • Someone got kicked/feared into the whelps (for not being where the f#%@ they were supposed to be).
  • The players in the center are standing next to other people.
  • The real-life gender or race of the raid leader or main tank
  • Whether Onyxia’s head is currently on display outside of Orgrimmar/Stormwind
  • Whether anyone in your raid has downed Drakkisath within the past 24 hours
  • Whether anyone in your raid has downed Highlord Bolvar Fordragon within the past 24 hours
  • с Whether anyone in your raid has the Ashbringer (beware, dual-wielding Ashbringers will actually increase the chance of being Deep Breathed)
  • The number of gnomes present in the raid
  • The number of Twill pieces that your raid leader has in their bag
  • The current time of day or day of the week
  • Whether the main tank is currently wearing pants or not
  • The amount of activity currently occurring in Barrens chat
  • The current DKP total of the members of your raid
  • The number of members of your raid that are named after Naruto or InuYasha characters
  • The number of Onyxia Hide Backpacks currently being worn by raid members
  • The number of Dragonstalker pieces being worn by raid members
  • The number of times that anyone from your guild has died in the Rookery
  • Asthma
  • For each hardcore real-lifeless player in the raid, Onyxia casts Breath five times.
  • The amount of raid members that haven’t gone through puberty.
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